HUMOR HAVEN

Verse 1

Morning sun is rising bright,

Kitchen smells are pure delight,

Bread is toasting, crisp and warm,

Simple lunch in perfect form.

Look, I get it. You see the black robes, the pentagrams, the “Hail Satan” chants, and you think: Wow, these people must eat lightning and spit brimstone. You expect Ozzy Osbourne energy — then you meet a dude named Trevor in a Baphomet bucket hat lecturing you about emotional boundaries.

• They think they’re the heirs to Lucifer’s rebellion.

• In reality, they’re just spiritual theater kids with a candle budget.

• Modern Satanism — especially the kind that lives on TikTok and Reddit — isn’t menacing.

• It’s mood lighting for people who want to feel transgressive without missing therapy.

THE GHOST VAN

Title: THE GHOST VAN OF 213

Horror-Comedy Screenplay

FADE IN:

EXT. CASCADE HIGHWAY 213 – RAINY NIGHT – 2010

Imagine this: A 28-year-old in a Cambridge hoodie is sitting in a dark room at 1:30 AM. Behind them, a single candle is dripping wax "artistically" down a skull. On-screen text: "Is my PhD in gay frogs and lesbian seagulls research getting canceled by Gen Z?"

If this pisses you off, the problem is you

Welcome. You’ve officially shuffled into the hall of existential identity clarification. If you’re offended, that was probably the point—allegedly. Just so we’re clear, we don’t do apologies here. Anyone saying "sorry" on our behalf isn't a Druan, so their olive branch is basically a twig from a dead tree. Ignore them.

Now that the air is cleared...

The Wickan Gift Shop

February 20, 2026

Open Letter to the Board of (whomever)

Dear Esteemed Members of the Board,

We come not to summon storms, but to submit paperwork — requesting that our concepts of spirituality, intelligent design, and our holy communion of heavy metal music, pizza, beer, and the occasional strippers for our barbarian-clad Druish adherents be granted equal attention and consideration as a legitimate alternative theory and cultural hypothesis.

No lightning bolts. Just documentation.

Join the Druish Effort: Share the Faith, Spread the Culture!

Greetings, fellow Druans!

Propaganda isn’t just a word—it’s a time-honored, socially-accepted way of sharing our beliefs and culture with the world. As proud followers of the First Church of Druwayu and champions of Druish culture, we invite you to join us in this vibrant tradition.

Here, you’ll find a collection of materials—art, graphics, writings, and more—that you’re free to use, modify, and distribute as you see fit. All we ask is that these resources not be used for commercial purposes; their power is meant to inspire, not to sell.

But we can’t do it alone. We need your creativity, your vision, and your stories. Contribute your own propaganda creations, or share tales of successful distribution, and help us grow this living archive of Druish culture. Every piece you add strengthens our community and spreads our faith in ways that endure.