THE SPEW ZONE

Converting to a different faith can be intimidating, but when the pros outweigh the cons, it can be totally worth it. You just have to be aware of the benefits of making the switch.

1. 🥓 Bacon

The list could end here. Seriously. If your religion bans bacon, it’s not a religion—it’s a hostage situation.

2. 🧕 No Hiding

Your wife can show her face in public without being stoned. She can also eat soup without a tactical veil deployment. Revolutionary.

3. 🚫 Not Founded by a Pedophile

We know, low bar. But Druwayu clears it. No creepy origin stories. No “divine exceptions.” Just adults acting like adults, and letting kids be kids free from the abusive and perverse stuff.

4. 🐶 No Demented Demands for Killing Dogs or Cats

No commandments demanding you murder your pets. If your deity hates animals, maybe it’s not divine—maybe it’s just a jerk and needs to be forgotten about and erased from history as an empty and cruel thing.

5. 📖 No Text Is Divine or Infallible

We don’t worship books. We read them. If your holy text can’t survive a fact-check, it’s not holy—it’s historical fiction.

6. 🛡️ Right to Self-Defense, Not Terrorism

You’re allowed to protect yourself. You’re not allowed to blow up a bus because someone drew a cartoon. See the difference?

7. 🍕 Eat Pizza However You Want

Bacon. Pineapple. Anchovies. It’s your face, your mouth, your toppings. Druwayu doesn’t micromanage your lunch.

8. 🧭 Pray Any Direction You Want

North, south, upside down, or not at all. Druwayu doesn’t care where your knees point. It cares what your brain’s doing.

9. 💀 100% Less Murderous Hatred

No history of crusades, jihads, inquisitions, or ritual slaughter. We’re not here to kill you. We’re here to outthink you.

10. 🤝 You Can Forgive Yourself and Others

No eternal damnation. No divine retribution style guilt traps. Just accountability, repair, and moving on like a functional adult.

11. 📚 Literal Doctrine and Improved Literacy

No definitions by association. No fake etymology. If the word means “banana,” we don’t pretend it means “salvation.”

12. 🚫 For Adults Only

Not pornographic—just honest. Druwayu refuses to indoctrinate kids. We teach critical thinking, not blind obedience.

13. 🎭 No Emotional Manipulation or False Promises

We don’t sell paradise. We don’t threaten hell. We tell it like it is. If you want fantasy, try a movie about the fantasy of your preference.

14. 🧱 No “Anything Goes” Nonsense

We have clergy, but they’re custodians—not overlords. They preserve tradition, not enforce submission. Think librarians, not tyrants.

15. 🆓 Adherence Is by Choice, Not Force

If you have to be coerced, it’s not belief—it’s compliance. Druwayu doesn’t want your fear. It wants your clarity.

16. 🚫 No Recruitment or Evangelism

We don’t chase converts. We offer structure. You want in? Great. You don’t? Also great. We’re not selling salvation—we’re maintaining standards.

17. 🧩 Total Boundary Control

Every asset, every interaction, every contributor is subject to enforcement. Misrepresentation is corrected. Drift is eliminated. Structure is preserved. No exceptions. No apologies.

18. 🧠 Like Atheists, But in Reverse (With Four at the Top)

Monotheists say, “There is no god but ours.” Atheists say, “Cool, we just believe in one less.” Druans say, “Cool, we believe in three more. Four total. Fully mapped. No guesswork. Based in Geometry. Supported by the Drikeyu.”

19. 🧼 No Rituals Involving Blood, Screaming, or Animal Sacrifice

If your spiritual awakening involves a goat and a knife, you’re not enlightened—you’re just unhygienic.

20. 🧯 No Apocalypse Fetish

We don’t fantasize about the world ending so we can be proven right. We’d rather fix it than burn it.

21. 🧬 No “Chosen People” Complex

We don’t do divine favoritism. If your god plays favorites, it’s not divine—it’s just petty.

22. 🧃 No Fasting That Makes You Hate Everyone

Skip the hunger-induced rage. Eat when you need to. Think when you’re ready. No spiritual hangry required.

23. 🧑‍🔬 Science Isn’t the Enemy

We don’t fear telescopes, vaccines, or carbon dating. If your beliefs collapse under a microscope, maybe they weren’t built well.

24. 🧛 No Afterlife Pyramid Scheme

No “believe now, pay later” salvation model. No eternal reward points. Just structure, clarity, and accountability.

25. 🧠 No Talking Snakes, Flying Horses, or Magic Fruit

If your origin story sounds like a rejected Marvel script, maybe it’s time to upgrade to something that doesn’t insult your neurons.

26. 🧮 Math Is Sacred

We don’t fear numbers. We use them. Our theology is mapped, not mumbled. Geometry > mythology.

27. 🧑‍🏫 Clergy Don’t Pretend to Be Gods

They’re not divine. They’re not infallible. They’re trained custodians of structure. If they drift, they’re corrected.

28. 🧱 No Holy Buildings Required

You don’t need a gold-plated dome or a mega-church to be valid. A clean room, a clear mind, and a functioning spine will do.

29. 🧘 No Forced Guilt

We don’t shame you into compliance. We don’t guilt you into obedience. We just expect you to think and act like an adult.

30. 🧨 No “God Told Me to Do It” Excuses

If your deity told you to commit a felony, maybe it’s not divine—it’s just your ego in cosplay.

31. 🧠 No “God Needs Your Money” Campaigns

We don’t pass the plate, guilt-trip your wallet, or claim the divine needs a new jet. If your deity needs a fundraiser, maybe it’s just broke.

32. 🧪 No Miracles That Violate Physics

We don’t pretend water turns into wine or that gravity takes weekends off. If your belief system needs magic tricks, it’s not a belief system—it’s a stage show.

33. 🧼 Clean Rituals, No Bodily Fluids Required

No spit, no blood, no weird bathwater blessings. Our rituals are clean, structured, and don’t require a mop afterward.

34. 🧠 No Talking to the Sky Required

You don’t need to shout at clouds or whisper to ceilings. If you want to reflect, reflect. If you want to act, act. No theatrics necessary.

35. 🧠 No “Chosen Language” Nonsense

We don’t pretend one ancient dialect is holier than another. If your god only speaks Aramaic, maybe it’s time for a software update.

36. 🧠 No “Sacred Geometry” That’s Just Doodles

We use actual geometry. Not spirals that look cool on yoga mats. If it doesn’t map, it doesn’t matter.

37. 🧠 No “Holy Days” That Require You to Starve, Sweat, or Freeze

We don’t schedule suffering. If your calendar includes mandatory misery, maybe it’s time to unsubscribe.

38. 🧠 No “Faith-Based Science Denial”

We don’t reject evolution, climate data, or medical facts because they hurt someone’s feelings. Truth isn’t negotiable.

39. 🧠 No “Divine Jealousy”

Our theological structure doesn’t include insecure deities throwing tantrums because someone prayed in the wrong direction.

40. 🧠 No “Sacred Furniture”

We don’t worship chairs, altars, or decorative boxes. If your belief system needs props, maybe it’s just theater.

41. 🧔 No Anti-Masculine Feminist Nonsense

We don’t demonize men, masculinity, or fatherhood. If your belief system treats male identity like a disease, it’s not progressive—it’s just bitter. Druwayu respects adult roles without ideological sabotage.

42. 🧠 No “God Told Me You’re My Wife/Husband” Pickup Lines

We don’t use divine authority to justify creepy behavior. If someone says the gods told them to marry you, tell them the gods also said “get lost.”

43. 🧠 No “Spiritual Bypassing”

We don’t pretend trauma is a lesson or suffering is a gift. If you’re hurting, fix it. Don’t wrap it in incense and call it enlightenment.

44. 🧠 No “Sacred Gender Roles” That Are Just Control Tactics

We don’t assign cosmic value to who cooks dinner. If your theology requires a flowchart to justify oppression, it’s not sacred—it’s just outdated.

45. 🧠 No “Divine Punishment” for Asking Questions

We encourage questions. If your god gets angry when you think critically, maybe it’s not a god—it’s just a control freak.

46. 🧠 No “Holy War” Clause

We don’t have a doctrine that activates violence when someone disagrees. If your belief system includes a kill switch, it’s not divine—it’s defective.

47. 🧠 No “Sacred Clothing/Nudity” That Doubles as Cosplay

We don’t wrap people in fabric cages and call it modesty just as we dont expect ritual nudity to hide some voyeurism. Also, "trying" to look spooky is Costumed Performance, not spiritual expression.

48. 🧠 No “Spiritual Hierarchy” Based on Who Suffers More

We don’t rank people by how miserable they are. If your path to holiness is paved with self-inflicted pain, maybe it’s time to reroute.

49. 🧠 No “Divine Jealousy” Drama

We don’t do insecure deities throwing tantrums because someone prayed to the wrong one. Our structure is stable. No cosmic soap operas.

50. 🧠 No “Sacred Math” That Doesn’t Add Up

We don’t pretend 3 = 1 or that infinity fits in a scroll. Our theology is mapped, not mumbled. If it doesn’t compute, it doesn’t belong.

51. 🧠 No “Parody Religion” Nonsense

We’re not a cosmic joke, a satire project, or a clever reversal of someone else’s theology. If your belief system exists just to mock another, it’s not a belief—it’s a tantrum with branding.

52. 🧠 Not Defined by What We’re Not

We don’t build identity by negation. Druwayu isn’t “not-Christian,” “not-Islamic,” or “not-whatever.” It’s structurally anchored, doctrinally mapped, and self-contained. If your system needs a foil to exist, it’s not a system—it’s a reaction.

53. 🧠 No “Cosmic Vibes” or “Energy Worship”

We don’t pray to vibrations, crystals, or the moon’s mood swings. If your theology depends on planetary alignment, it’s not divine—it’s astrology with a PR team.

54. 🧠 No “Spiritual Consumerism”

We don’t offer enlightenment in 10 easy steps or sell sacred starter kits. If your path to truth comes with merch, it’s not sacred—it’s retail. All we may "retail" is things with Church specific symbolism to help fund the church advertising material.

55. 🧠 No “Choose Your Own Adventure” Belief

We don’t let you mix and match doctrines like a salad bar. Druwayu is structured. If you want spiritual improv, try a drum circle.

56. 🧠 No “Divine Mascots”

We don’t assign animal totems, spirit guides, or celestial pets. If your deity needs a mascot, maybe it’s just lonely.

57. 🧠 No “Sacred Theater”

We don’t do robes, smoke machines, or dramatic lighting to simulate holiness. If your ritual needs stagecraft, it’s not sacred—it’s Broadway

58. 🩲 No Magic Underwear

We don’t do sacred boxers, holy briefs, or divine compression garments. If your spiritual protection depends on what’s hugging your thighs, it’s not enlightenment—it’s just laundry with delusions of grandeur.

59. 🧠 No “Spiritual Trauma Bonding”

We don’t build community by sharing wounds and calling it sacred. If your theology requires you to bleed together to feel connected, maybe it’s not healing—it’s just codependency with candles.

60. ⚧️ No “Divine Gender Fluidity” as a Theological Loophole

We don’t rewrite doctrine to accommodate ideological trends. If your deity changes pronouns to stay relevant, it’s not divine—it’s just trying to win Twitter.

61. 🤖 No “Sacred AI Worship” or Algorithmic Prophecy

We don’t treat chatbots as oracles or hallucinated outputs as divine revelation. If your god runs on silicon and server uptime, maybe it’s not eternal—it’s just cloud-based confusion.

62. 🪐 No “Cosmic Consent Culture” Replacing Actual Boundaries

We don’t replace structure with vague affirmations and spiritual niceties. If your theology says “everything’s valid,” it’s not inclusive—it’s boundless nonsense dressed as virtue trying to force fit things together that are factually incompatible and irreconcilable.

In Conclusion: We do not proclaim Druwayu is the best or only choice. You are as previous said free to chose as you will, and you are also just as free to reject it at any time without condemnation. Nor are you demanded to reject real courage as a virtue when its a mask of cowardice. Ultimately Druwayu comes down to seeking objective truth, not blind devotion, and welcomes thinkers and contemplates, not submissive servants or dictating tyrants and there is also very much a distinction between being an authority in contrast to authoritarianism. If you don't know the difference, you need to do some serious research.